10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas

The Pocket Get Off the Phone Excuse Machine

Nothing says aggravating quite like an annoying phone call you just can’t get away from. The Pocket Get Off the Phone Excuse Machine eliminates that problem once and for all. From a baby crying to a car crashing, you’ll never be without an excuse to get off of the dreaded phone call again!

Whoopie Cushions

People are longing for nostalgia, and simple items like whoopie cushions and hand buzzers are selling like hotcakes. If you want to bring a smile to someone’s face, give them a Whoopie cushion as a stocking stuffer. It’ll be a source of amusement all day long.

The Stella Awards

If you and your friends are the type to get annoyed when someone abuses the civil court system, you’re going to love the Stella Awards by Randy Cassingham. This book makes a great stocking stuffer and highlights the most bizarre of civil lawsuits in a hilarious and entertaining manner. The only thing that’s not funny about this book is that the crazy cases that are highlighted are true!

Half-Eaten Cookies

Getting cookies in your stocking is probably OK, but imagine getting cookies that already have a bite taken out of them! This hilarious cookie cutter will have your friends wondering what you were thinking when you give them cookies that aren’t all there.

The Do-It-Yourself Stocking Stuffer

This stocking stuffer is best for couch potatoes. It's called the "Home Exerciser." Making it is simple. Just take a block of wood and make a sign that you glue onto the wood. The sign says:

Home Exerciser
1. Place the Home Exerciser in the middle of the floor.
2. Walk around the Home Exerciser three times.
3. Take a well deserved break: you've walked around the block three whole times.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has the honor of being perhaps the worst holiday movie ever made. It not only has a stupid plot, bad acting and ridiculous special effects, but the title alone could qualify it as a really bad movie. But, it's now available on DVD, and it's SO bad that there will be a lot of laughs.

Bobble Heads

Bobble heads also make great stocking stuffers. Figurines with little bodies and big heads that bobble around just seem to make people smile. They’re becoming increasingly popular and are being collected by the young and old alike. From sports to pets, bobble heads are everywhere and the humorous ones always bring a smile to the recipient’s face.

Tiki Tissue Box Holder

This is surely not your ordinary tissue box holder! Whenever someone needs a tissue, they have to pull it from the tiki’s nose. This tiki tissue box holder is sure to bring laughs not just on Christmas morning, but the whole year through.

Funny Face Pacifiers

If you have a baby on your shopping list, these funny face pacifiers make one hilarious stocking stuffer. Unfortunately baby will be too young to benefit from the humor of it, but the adults will be laughing the whole day through.

Snowman Poop

Know someone who was naughty this year? Forget about coal in the stocking -- give them a baggie full of snowman poop instead. A little baggie filled with miniature white marshmallows and a cute little note saying that your naughty friend is getting nothing but snowman poop for Christmas will bring on serious bouts of laughter from all around

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


Robert Frost

Robert Frost is my favorite poet. Two Roads Diverged in a Wood would have to be my favorite,
but this poem is my second favorite. Why, Do you ask? I love it because you can almost see yourself
sitting horseback, staring at the woods with snow on the winter solstice, just for the sole purpose of
capturing the captivating beauty of the quiet snow falling to cover the woods. He (the speaker) makes it
clear that he has somewhere to be, but yet he stops to take in the awe striking scene. The mood that
frost sets is peaceful and calm, yet mysterious. In the final stanza, the poem brings the whole scene together, 
an intense love and awe of nature, a never ending patience and some unknown task or problem that robs the
speaker of rest. The dark and deep woods seem to reflect the speakers mood of tiredness. And the miles to go
before i sleep says that he has a responsibility to do. So, what do i think this poem is saying...
To me, the poem is inspiring. The speaker is tired, but yet h e stops to witness the beauty. The horse
think that is is odd tells me that it isnt something that the driver dies often but that he needs a break from his
responsibilities to have time to himself, to reflect, even if its just for that moment. What i get out of it is that
we need to appreciate the things that are around us. Even if its just for that one moment. We need to spend time
to look for the little things in life and be grateful for them. We shouldn't be so caught up in everything else that
we forget to look, and fail to see the beauty of things.
   S
o as this year comes to a close. Appreciate the things that you have, help those in need and look around.
You just might see something unforgettable. 

GRGR

GRGR... I cant get my blog list to work. Any help. I can add ppl on it but it wont let me save it!!! Any one have any ideas on how to help?

Christmas Countdown

Hey Everyone

Just wanted to blog about my day off. I am so glad that this week is over. Work has been pretty good and bad all at the same time. We found out at work Thrusday that my work was 26% over our sales for this year so we got a extra week off for christmas. Yay. So now i am off work the 19th thru the 5th. I am so happy! So today i went shopping for the few people i had to buy for yet and let me tell you it was CRAZY. People were everywhere. Drivers were being stupid in the inch of snow we had. Everything was rush rush rush. I think that sometimess people forget the reason for this holiday. Its about giving and being with your friends and family. Not about giving the most expensive gift or even the holiday parties. We are celebrating Christ's birth and people forget that. Just the other day, black friday i think, i heard in the news about how this Walmart employee got trampled by the crowd trying to get in to get the sales. Its sad that those people were so selfish to do that.

Anywaz.... I just want everyone to not forget about the real reason for the season and i hope you all have a great holiday.

The Doctor and Me

So the other day we went to the doctorfor Matthew's 2 month check up. That morning he was smiling and cooing. He was awake the whole way to the doctors. He didnt even cry at all. So when we got back to the room we had to strip him down to his diaper. I didnt take his socks off cuz it was COLD in there. He got weighed (he was fasinated by the scale) and measured. He weighed 14 lbs and was 25 in long. The nurse said that he is the size of a 3 month old. Then the doctor came in and gave him his check up. She said that he was doing great and that he looked great. Kyle and I asked her about giving him ceral/oatmeal since he eats about 6 ounces every hour. She said to wait for a little while, but that we should be able to give him some when he is about 3 1/2 months old. He also had to get some shots and a oral medicine. He did great with the oral medicine. he actually seemed to like it. Then the nurse gave him one shot in his leg and he waited for a sec, then he cried. The nurse then gave him the other one in his other leg. He stopped crying for a little and then started again. It was like he forgot about the first one. Lol. Well since it has been a couple of days, we have seen the effects of the shots. On Saturday he had a fever and was really fussy. But he is doing better now. I will keep you all updated

Church Thanksgiving Dinner

On Sunday the 20th. Kyle, Matthew and I all wen to Harold and Annette's church for the their annual thanksgiving dinner. Man, let me tell you the women of that church sure can cook!! There was a lot of good food and everyone had a good time. As you can tell from the pictures everyone wanted and did hold Matthew. He's so attention deprived. Lol. NOT. Everyone spoils him rotten. Mackenzie, of course, sat next to me. We are best buds. lol. She is the sweetest thing and she has grown so much in the past year. It doesn't seem like that long ago when she wouldn't even talk to me. Lol. I have enjoyed watching her grow. i cant imagine Matthew being that old and growing that fast. I like this stage that he is in now. But he is still growing like a weed. He is smiling more and wiggling like crazy. I call him my little wiggle worm. :-) He is definitly eating a lot. No wonder he's growning so much, right. lol

The Birthday Boy

As some of you know, Kyle turned 21 this week. So i had a little party for him. Our friends Danny and Charles came. There would've been more but a couple of our friends but they weren't feeling good. But despite our small numbers we had a good time eating food and cake. After we finished eating, we all went to Lags, which is our local pool hall and played a couple of games. So all in all we had a pretty good time.

Phone Blogging

WOW so i am playing around on my phone today cuz im bored. So i deceide to check my email, but then i thought... Why dont i try to blog. And what do you know i can blog from my phone. Its really cool. And actually i am writing this from my phone. Lol... Neafty. Lol. Talk to you all soon.... By the way Vi, my bday is jan 13

Work Days

So yesterday was my first day back to work. It was ok, pretty long that's for sure. I really didnt want to go back. I think that the reason i didnt want to go back was because i dont want to leave Matthew. I think that i would do better if i had a first shift job. 3-11 is really going to kill me with having to get up with him at night and being up early. But i think that i will get used to it in time. Kyle will be having Matthew some nights, so that will help. Anywaz, I really missed Matthew yesterday and it made for a long long day. But I eased some of my pain by letting the some of the best babysitters in the world watch him, Grandma and Grandpa Killinger. Annette said that they had a good time. Here are some pics that she took.

Funny stuff

Military Cutbacks

The Taxi Ride
A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night.The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window.For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look friend, don't EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a "little tap" could scare him so much.The driver, after gathering himself together replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!

Gas Problems
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back to his office. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly!"
The doctor says, "Good, Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

Baby Talk
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?""No," said his mom, "Of course not."Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

Yesterday i was taking a break in the back garden after nasty storms, and my wife upstairs was having a shower.I couldn't find the rake so I yelled up to her: "Honey, where's the rake?".She couldn't hear me and she shouted back, "What?".I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion. My wife wasn't sure and said, "What?". I repeated the gestures: "EYE KNEE THE RAKE".My wife replied that she understood and signalled back. She first pointed to her eye, next she pointed to her left breast, then she pointed to her bum, and finally to her crotch. Well, I had no idea what in god's name she was on about, so I trudged up the stairs, poked my head into the bathroom and asked her, "What the heck was that?".

She replied EYE - LEFT TIT - BEHIND - THE BUSH

Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates." About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"